"If only we could rewind & rerecord..."

i miss my bro..

2008-04-28T22:09:00.007+08:00

haiz.. the house is quiet without my brother... if not its filled with his irritatingness.. though its iritating well.. its what i loved most bout my bro.. i know he's a big guy now but can't help but worry whether he can take all the training and all..

took some pics from tekong..

here they are...

WELCOME TO PULAU TEKONG.. HEHE..

thats my bro... the one wearing the brown long-sleeved shirt..

my grandma n mum.. we send my brother off that day..
talk about him being sent to tekong.. i can't imagine those who are being sent or had been sent to Iraq or Afghanistan...

hehe... such a patriotic pic...

AND THE PIC OF THE DAY....

haha.. this banner is like so lame.. lol.. such an irony because a couple of them did came with their girlfriends.. as if it isn't bad enough that the boys had to enlist.. yet they're rubbing it in.. haha..

may the guys protect us.. the female citizens of Singapore..

IT'S TIME FOR NEW BEGINNINGS..

2008-04-28T21:55:00.002+08:00

alot had happened these days and it has emotionally drained me.. but i guess it's normal.. what's life without it's ups and downs.. what i have gone through recently really had such a deep impact on me that i guess kinda changed me and the way i see things.. all this while what i had yearned for wasn't really what i wanted and it was not what that made me happy.. it's true that sometimes you don't appreciate the things right in front of you until something did happen..

i've learned to respect myself.
not to look down on myself.
appreciate those around me.
love myself more and not sacrifice my ownself for others.
to be myself.

yeah.. all this is about myself.. i guess i've been too caught with others and how to handle their matters that i forgot about myself and somehow i lost the linda that i was..

well now its time for a new beginning.. i may not be the old linda but i guess it's time for a new beginning.. a new positive outlook.. =)

So to whoever is reading this.. love yourself and don't ever put yourself down.. smile always.. =)

where i am now..

2008-04-13T15:15:00.002+08:00

im now at a point where im like "wait and see where it goes"... i don't know.. im just afraid that if i were to continue on with it soon i'll be too deep in it that im not able to get out of it.. haha.. im sure you're like thinking what the hell is this girl talking about if you're reading this.. trust me... im feeling exactly the same.. confused as you are..

why must there always be drama in my life when i just yearn for something simple and meaningful.. my heart tugs whenever i think about it.. haiz.. no mood to blog. ciao.

THE 2008 CAKE! courtesy of Zarina

2008-04-13T15:10:00.001+08:00

HERE IT IS!!!

here are the long due pics of 2007...

2008-04-13T14:38:00.017+08:00

ENJOY THE PICS..

DEEPARAYA CELEBRATIONS AT WORK..

THE VICTIMS FOR THE MASCOT COMPETITION.. WELL OUR DEPT WON!! WOOHOO..

ME AND THE CRAZY KIDS..

CHRISTMAS EVE AT WORK..

NEW YEAR'S EVE..

AND THEN 2008 HAPPENED.

woohoo.. hello 2008..

2007-12-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

wow... its been a really really long time since i've updated on this blog.. so far things had been good in life.. even though there were some disappointments this year i've managed to pick myself up n be a much stronger person.. im very grateful to all my loved ones who have always been there for me.. thanks u guys.. i love u all sooooo much..

haha.. thats was a short n impromtu speech to end the year.. haha

btw.. me and my girls celebrated our b'days this year... was soooooooo nice..

we went balithai... nice food.. i was the only one who ate alot.. haha.. i was REALLY hungry..
then went to chocolate bar at esplanade.. by then the three of us were really high and talking nonsense.. haha.. dila did her tyra bank's impersonation.. herda got us gingerbreadmens'.. and i spill melted dark choc.. the suckao.. on my top.. how much nicer can it get.. haha.. dila n herda celebrated their ten years of friendship together.. well.. im a year behind.. haha.. one more year to go and we will have a grandious occasion.. my ten year anniversary wif them... haha..

will upload pics of 2007 soon.. so do look out for that... tata.. xoxo

HAIZ...

2007-10-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

i've failed.. i've failed to stop myself from doing something that i know won't go anywhere.. well.. no point crying over spilled milk.. just continue life and not do it again... but i won't guarantee anything.. haiz.. maybe should clarify this matter with him.. find out exactly where and what our relationship is..

aniways.. my blog's BIG BIG HEADER PIC is gone.. haiz again.. wanna upload a james dean pic but photobucket is taking so long to load... haiz thrice..

i want my james dean.. much like dila wants her prince william.. hehe.. much like wati wants her.. ermm.. ????.. i think i know.. but haiz thrice +1.. haha.. wat do they say after thrice???

went to aki's bbq party... was nice.. tho didnt spend much time there.. too many pple that i dont know.. been gone way too lonnng... but i notice something interesting that made me go hmmm...
wanna know wat.. ask me.. haha.. too discreet to blog about.. scared i salah interpret the thing..

STORY TIME!!

2007-10-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

i wanna eat nasi ayam penyet. i want the one at lucky plaza. but have to wait till i break fast. haiz.

am so damn tired these few days.. been coming back late.. goin here n there... across and back borders..

but i LOVE the day when i went to timbre.. was nice.. miss the place whole lots.. but something unexpected happened..
let me tell u a story..

One fine night, Linda and Wan met up on a street of busy Orchard Road. Wan and friends had decided to catch a movie but Linda and Wan decided not to go along as they were feeling tired and sleepy. They were afraid that they might fall asleep while watching it and the money would be wasted on cushy chair and airconditioning. So they finally came to a decision to relax and destress somewhere and Wan suggested Timbre at The Substation. He had not been there before and he wanted to know how the atmosphere and place is.

On the way to Timbre Linda felt a terrible need to go to the ladies. So she hold it in till they got to Timbre and got a table. As she made her way to ladies (oops, its a unisex loo), she sensed that someone was looking at her. And when she turned, she saw a familiar face. A very familiar face. It was her ex-boyfriend's friend's wife. Spontaneously, Linda just turn her head away and continued her way to the loo. When she was done, as she was walking out so looked at the group of table that Lydia was sitting at (that's the ex-boyfriend's friend's wife's name). She saw her ex-boyfriend's friend sitting next to Lydia. Of course, what was she thinking, of course her husband would be there with her. Linda noticed that it was a big group of people sitting there and she was too surprised to scan the group for a face that she had not seen for a long time.

When Linda got back to her table, she told Wan about who she saw. And to make matters worse, the band were playing love songs that triggered certain memories for Linda.

Moral of the story: Memories. You move on but the memories stay. But these memories made me smile coz it made me grow up and be a better person.

2007-10-02T13:11:00.000+08:00

somehow wan and me are getting closer and closer.. he's the only guy fren who i can confide to and rely on to for help if there's anything.. its weird how things turn out between us.. something good came out from something bad.. and a promise was made between us.. not to let feelings come into the frenship.. im sure either one of us are bound to have feelings for the other person as we get closer and closer.. well better to take precaution.. its strange how comfortable i am with him..

i was lamenting to him about how i wanted to celebrate my 21st b'day.. one wif my family.. and one wif my closest frens.. and he asked me whether he's in the circle of my closest frens...

i said yes..

so now in history for the first time ever.. i have a guy bestfren... hahha...

2007-10-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

back to the events that im looking forward to..

OCTOBER SCHEDULE:
#1 TOMORROW!! 3.10.07: MEETING UP WIF DEE N WATI.. miss them so much.. its been a long time since the three of us met up as a group.. they are my everything..

#2 15.10.07 WATI'S 21ST BIRTHDAY!!
#3 20.10.07 AKI'S 21ST BIRTHDAY!! a reason to celebrate and meet up with poly folks.. after that plans wif wan to catch something at esplanade?? or maybe party after that.. haha..

NOVEMBER SCHEDULE:
#1 12.11.07 DEELA'S 21ST BIRTHDAY!!
#2 18.11.07 MY 21ST BIRTHDAY!! am so looking forward to it..

the withstanding post that finally arrived.. haha..

2007-10-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

well well... news so far... no longer working at kk.. too stressful too many drama n politics.. i didnt even notice i lost weight while im working there until i've quit.. i've lost 2 inches!! anyway new job now is not bad.. not too stressful.. near house.. it only takes me 15 mins to get there if i were to take the bus.. but the bad news is there are alot of OTs for this job.. but hey more OT means more money.. hehe...

i dunno why im feeling down and bogged down with certain.. been thinking alot bout my dad lately.. and wondering where he is and how he's doing.. as much i want to look for him its as much as i don't want to.. haiz...

but im happy i have a good group of friends that i can rely and talk whenever im down.. it beats having a big circle of friends because you know that these are the people who would always be there no matter what..

but im pysched about the coming months to come.. can't wait for hari raya.. fren's and close frens' birthdays.. and of course.. MY 21ST BIRTHDAY!!! hahaha... remember the date.. 18.11.1986.. don't tell me you don't know.. im posting it in the worldwide web for the world to see... haha..

MOI UPDATES!!!

2007-07-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

hey hey all... me got some news n updates.. lol

#1 Moi got a new job.. its at KK Hospital which gonna mean shift work.. means less playtime more work time.. which sux!

#2 Moi had fun meeting n catching up wif old schoolmates n frens... met up wif punkgirl, danielle, wendy n amanda n bf.. haha.. punkgirl now not so punk coz into muse at the moment..

#3 Moi had make a resolution not to have a bf anytime soon or maybe later... haha... its time to have fun for myself... wif frens and my lovely girls... my love episode is over for now...

#4 Moi also made a resolution to try n get back to school next year.. had to drill it in my head coz moi was so hesitant and sceptic bout it.. coz dun wanna feel bad for the second time when something goes awefully wrong... hehe.. k thats all.. tata...

2007-06-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

this past year alot of major stuff happened..

a secondary school friend got married. it's kind of surprising but yet not that surprising. haha. well remembered the time in secondary school when she said that she wanted to get married when she's 21. well it happened. went down to the wedding and met all the other sec school frens which i've not met in like almost 5 years. and i've not even gone about to meeting a pri school fren which i've not met in 10 years.

fsv peeps are graduating this thursday. happy for them but yet kind of a stake to the heart feeling for me. always have thoughts of what if I stayed on. lost everyone's contacts which makes me kind of feeling naked.. its weird to look at the hp's contacts and see the list end in a mere seconds.

jobhunting is going so bad. cashflow is even worse. and dont even get me started bout things happening in the family. its like one big vicious cycle. talk about having a dysfunctional life. but no worries. moi is doing fine. ciao.

2007-06-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

Below are true descriptions of zodiacsigns, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologistpredictions.

SCORPIO - Aggressive.

Loves being in long relationships.

Likes to give a good fight for what they want.

Extremely outgoing.

Loves to help people in times of need.

Goodkisser.

Good personality.

Stubborn.

A caring person.

One of a kind.

Not one to mess with.

Are the most attractive people on earth!

Haha... well i ain't complaining... like the last part the most.. :D

2006-03-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

This is how my credits will look like for Hidden Sorrows..

Nice work June!!:D

ODE TO FMS!!

N NP!!

Production Stills..

2006-03-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

HIDDEN SORROWS

PRODUCTION STILL

Hhahaha.. only had 3 of them.. rest dunno who delete from my cam..

Hahaha.. mostly pics of louis n the unidentifiable RH.. the other pics sadly are missing...

Hypocracy...

2006-02-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

Why must one lie.. to not hurt one's feelings??

But if in the end it hurts more to hide it from the person.. my as well go with the kill and move on...
Hahaha.. i've tried enough.. and im not gonna try again.. It's enough.. Perhaps u didn't see how hard I tried..
Don't wanna blast u but its a fact..

"Perhaps it's time you think of how you treat people, instead of how people treat you.. "
- Me (@!#$% pissed off!)

Woo... a new blogskin is in!!!

2005-12-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

K.. Spent like 2 or so hours just doing some simple.. but frustrating.. *coz i sux in Photoshop*.. pics alteration.. and doing the blogskin.. i spent like forever on the pics but it took me like 15 mins on dreamweaver.. well.. like this new skin coz it features all that i love.. MY BESTIES!! AND FIONA APPLE AND GREEN DAY!!! WOO HOO.. hope u guys like it too.. tata

Load..load of assignments n projects.. AHHH!!!

2005-11-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

Well.. what a busy sem this sem has turned out to be.. so many productions.. so many work.. haiz..

well.. wanted to post bout school but its not the upmost thing on my mind now... it's hard when sometimes you can't control the stuff.. all the shit that happens..

i feel like blabbing it all out but.. im not one who usually does.. well.. i dedicate this song to myself and everyone who thinks they know me.. well enough to say stuff about me... care bout me.. even those reading this..

Sullen Girl

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself

All day and all night

I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath

I say to myself

I need fuel to take flight

And there's too much going on

But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion

Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

Is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl

They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea

But he washed me shore and he took my pearl

And left an empty shell of me

And there's too much going on

But it's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

blog up and about again...

2005-11-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah... my blog is up again.. after a looooooooooong hiatus.. well.. not feeling that excited bout this new sem.. feeling kinda left out from everything or even anything.. its hard to like put urself back into all the action when u've been missing for so long.. i feel as though i have been like lost in a cave all this while.. but haiz.. hope everything will go back to normal.. well.. people change..oooohhh..ohhhhh...ohhh...

I thought i wouldn't care less.. but i do..

2005-09-05T14:18:00.000+08:00

I actually seen it coming... I thought i would be the first one to break it out to u.. But i guess u won the race..

I thought it wouldn't hurt.. coz i thought u didn't mean so much to me.. But now i realise u do.. But i guess i don't mean that much to u..

I don't find the reason absurd.. but what u said after all that..

I don't know.. i accepted the news quite well.. But it suddenly dawned upon me..

U were the first person to ever have really hurt my feelings..
It's weird but that's what i like u for.. For being able to make me realise that u mean so much to me.. in the weirdest of situations..

I guess ur flaws attracted me more to u.. And now that u are gone.. I want u even more..

We'll see how the future will hold things between us.. We'll see.. But i won't give in easily.. I resist u.. I'll fight u coz that's the thing that makes me fall deeper and deeper into u..

NEED VISUALS!!!!

2005-09-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

I seriously need to post some pics on this blogs.. the words are killing my eyesight!!!

at SIM now.. sian..

2005-08-29T18:46:00.000+08:00

Haha... School is ending soon.. I'm gonna miss school during the hols.. This always happens.. when u have it now u want it to end soon.. but when u dont have it, you want it have it again.. haiz.. German classes are over.. test wasnt as scary as i thought it would be, considering that i didnt study for it.. Cam & Light shoot is over.. overall went well.. eventhough i returned home feeling damn shagged... but still hilarious moments from the shoot to remember.. k.. thats all i have to say now.. I MISS MY BESTIES!! girls.. whats happening... i dont want us to drift apart... we need to meet up k... MUAACH... TATA..

it's slowly getting better and better..

2005-08-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

Things are slowly picking up to be better and better.. I'm getting out of this whole depressed mood.. People and stuff around me are much more optimistic than my own self...

But I'm still so..so.. confused.. It is my wanting to be so happy that someone comes and gives me happiness I'm ever so eager to accept.. I guess I'm now where I'm at my most vulnerable...

But could all this ever be real.. could I even sustain it..

Both of them makes me happy.. But maybe I'm deluding myself..

you..

2005-08-06T15:28:00.000+08:00

I've been putting on a strong front.. But I feel so weak and fragile.. It's all because of you.. I guess that's my weakness..

my sadness.. my companion..

2005-08-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

Life has never been a bed of roses.. It has never been and I guess delusion got the better of me.. I dreaded looking at myself in the mirror.. Looking at my eyes knowing that they could never lie to me.. I can't comfort myself anymore better.. This past week has been the most emotional draining week of my life.. Just when you thought that it's all over.. It keeps repeating over and over again.. Guess that's life.. I dunno just that whenever im seated down or standin anywhere.. And i'm all quiet.. suddenly i will think of all the problems and my mind starts to go haywire and i try so hard not to get too emotional.. I'VE CRIED A WHOLE LOT OF TIMES IN MY LIFE.. THAT IM GETTING TIRED OF CRYING.. at times I tell myself why should I cry.. why am I even crying.. I dunno.. I'm just losing it..

Haiz.. what a suay night yesterday...

2005-08-02T10:08:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. something so suay happened to me last night.. I had already completed my proposal for the demo show when I wanted to insert the page numbers.. Suddenly.. MS Word crashed.. And before i knew it, Im already knocking my head and cursing "Shit!" countless times.. I felt like breaking down and crying in front of the comp. I can't continue to do it coz Im at my aunt's house in her bedroom doing it and furthermore her husband wants to sleep coz he need to sleep coz he will hav an early day.. haiz.. So here I am now.. retyping the proposal hoping that I remember all the details.. I skipped all my lectures today just for the sake of this proposal coz it is due DAMN!! TODAY!!..

Anyways.. for those who wanna what Im doing.. I'm doing a demo on 3dash1.. WOOHOO!! now I can rejoice..

Yeah 3dash1.. THE WINNER OF THE STRAITS TIMES SCHOOL OF ROCK 2005 CONTEST.. THANX TO DANIELLE FOR THE LOBANG..

Still remember the first time I saw them perform at Sunset Bay Sentosa.. I wanted to catch DeadEnd so I dragged myself down there with Danielle_not_a_jerk and later joined by John John and Terence da Stoner.. It was on one of the days of the openhouse.. Naturallly..ehem..ehem.. I helped out lah.. So after a long day I felt so tired.. Then I went down for the gig.. saw some bands.. 3dash1 performing at the moment and suddenly my eyes felt heavy.. doesn't help that Im sitting down on a chair by the sea with the cool breeze.. then suddenly I heard Ashik, the lead singer talking about pls dun fall asleep listening to us or something.. hehhe.. I guess he noticed I was falling asleep.. I WAS TIRED WHAT CAN I SAY!!

As a form of apology..im promoting them here.. www.3dash1.blogspot.com

Well.. thats enuf for the ramblings.. better get on with my work..
Tata

Busy..busy..stressed..stressed LIKE HELL!!

2005-07-31T02:19:00.000+08:00

Well.. been kinda busy wif school.. projects n all.. And i am really tired n stressed out.. But i have to say that there's a blessing behind all this.. Hehehe.. The wonderful feeling of being in LOVE.. Just thinking of him put smiles on face.. Atmosphere in school been kinda down lately.. Friends lives are filled with problems, conflicts, unresolved issues.. I dunno.. I do have problems but haiz.. its the same problem i have since i dunno so many years.. Dee and Wati hmm.. i think u gals would be able to guess.. well... i have to start doing research for my demo.. HMM... hope 3dash1 wins.. coz if they do then.. we would be doing a demo on the winner of The Straits Times School of Rock Contest.. WOO HOO!!! But shall not rejoice in anything now.. hehehe..

Holding on...

2005-07-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

Hahaha.. holding on when it all comes down to this.. I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone through my honest behaviour and feelings.. I just chose to react with taking into consideration about myself.. I'm sick and tired of thinking of how other people would feel when in actual fact.. When I put them first before myself, they just... They just kicked up a big fuss.. I aint sorry for how I react.. Maybe sorry if I'm being rude to people in their face.. SORRY PEOPLE JUST HAD SOME CRAPPY TIME LATELY.. had enough probs with school.. family n friends.. hahha.. it's okay.. just bring it on.. bring it on till I die of misery.. Maybe death isnt as ugly as it seems.. Could be a real beauty in disguise..